GanZhou dig it?

2008-07-22T02:11:00.000-07:00

The key is to be ten percent more insane than the people you're working with. Keep people on their toes. How about this blast from the past eh? It's been a while since I've written anything here... more than a year actually. I never actually completed my account of that winter vacation last year. That's okay though, you can use your imagination.

A lot has happened in the past, oh let's say, 16 months. But at the same time very little has happened. I've gone through a couple girlfriends, bought a motorcycle to regain my youth, lost both girls, got shot down by a couple others, though that was usually in good fun. I'll sell the moped(yeah I was generous before) soon for half what I paid for it before but that's okay.

These days I've been sitting around planning my next step. Slowly I've been packing and yesterday I burned a lot of things(only paper things) but in the more productive side of things I was able to find a way to send my things to my next destination. Namely Beijing. Unfortunately with the olympics coming they've decided not to let me into my place until the 23rd of august... It's a bit of a piss-off. But I'll survive...

But the past... yeah you're probably interested... though mildly interested I'm sure, still I'll take any interest I can get. Both my folks visited, Jason as well. That was good times. Oh! I know after I get rid of most of my things in Beijing I should go to Macau and put it all on red(this is china after all, and last time black tanked). I think it's probably all my things that's really bringing me down these days. I really don't want to deal with all my shit. Those of you who know me(which probably means everyone reading, I can't imagine anyone who doesn't know me would be interested in my nonsensical ramblings, then again I havent' told anyone about starting to write again... so I'm guessing no one is reading...) no that I don't really accumulate much in the way of things I seem to still have more than I'd like... I have half a mind to leave the bulk of it... but then I'd have none of my comforts(rye) when I get to Beijing.

Herbie Hancock is great. Give me a minute... or 15...

Back. good times... now we have Don McLean... but I think i can keep going. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. maybe I should stop then... I ramble enough as it is. I guess to put it most simply most of the past year could be thought of as an exercise in isolation of sorts.

2007-04-12T00:46:00.000-07:00

Alright, laziness be damned. In the aftermath of a hangover, my precious consciousness revived, I will continue with the long awaited, though perhaps abridged, continuation of my trip.

After GuangZhou I took a sleeper bus to Kuming. This bus several hours late and crammed(about 40 people crammed into bunkbeds in three columns down the length of the bus. Such bus will come again before the story is finished.) eventually pulls into the station and we load on. 30 hours later we arrive in Kuming at about midnight. Promptly after exiting the bus I was snatched up by a young girl who, in my sleep addled state, took me to a hotel. She showed me a room and I slept. unfortunately the room had no sheets so I used my shirt as a pillow case as the pillow itself looked like it had been scavenged from that old couch in the basement that you're certain at one point had been boiled in beer and left in the rain for 6 months, and spread out the blankets from both beds and slept between them. In the morning I had to soak my feet for 10 minutes in the sink to thaw them out, spring city my ASS. the next morning I checked out bought a bus ticket then burned time hanging out in the mall until the evening.

Again I loaded onto a sleeper bus and continued my journey higher into the Himalayans. The sun rose and I found myself about about 3100 meters in a strange new town. LiJiang(丽江). Again I picked up my shatter, shit filled self(seeing I had not been to the bathroom in a while seeing first I don't like the chinese toilets although I'm convinced that it's physically better for you but more over they're exquisitely disgusting. I find myself thinking about shit far too much here mostly the logistics of the matter, when, where, how...) and wander off towards the goal of my journey though I know little about it. I found other foreigners who point me in the right direction.(Foreigners! I hadn't seen so many white people , it was like almost being able to function again!)

2007-02-25T03:22:00.000-08:00

leave me alone, at least I recognize and accept my laziness!

2007-02-20T21:43:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures now that I can read this damned thing. These were taken in GuangZhou. My favourite is the one in the subway. The good pictures will come with the rest of the trip.

2007-02-20T20:35:00.000-08:00

Alright, here I am. I know I've been reckless, irresponsible, to the point that many of the people I care about have had no clues as to the whereabouts and happenings of my life. For this I am sorry(but not really) I will try to keep the blog going more in the future(but no promises).

There have been some happenings since my last entry. Most notably has been the end of the teaching term and the beginning of the winter holiday/spring festival. If we just ignore the month or two between my last entry and the holiday then it doesn't seem that bad at all... well... that terrible.

The bright side is of this long awaited return is that I might be able to quench your thirst for pictures of my time here in China. Sloth had wreaked havoc on my motivations and the lack of a battery charger had destroyed any hopes of me achieving anything of quality to show you... well that is accept shots taken from my mobile but no one really wants to see the pictures I take with that...

I suppose firstly I should talk about my holiday. You might want to go out get another beer, burrito, and maybe an extra seat-cushion. I have the feeling that this might be a long one.

The holiday for me started around the 19th of January. Being speedy and lazy and without accountability I was able to get my examining done in half the time I told the administration I needed. I then sat on my ass for a week trying to decide my next course of action. At length I decided that I should just get a ticket to GuangZhou(the closest largest city to me) and go from there. My neighbours and friends mostly having already parted, I was left to travel alone. So armed only with my wits, my wallet, and some very broken Chinese I set out.

I bought my ticket in advance, I translated that I wanted a ticket to GuangZhou for monday and handed the girl the note. She then returned me a ticket, with minimal gesticulations and broken language needed. Monday I was off. When I got to the train station I was surprised to find out that I had gotten a ticket for a soft sleeper. The other options being; Hard Sleeper, Hard Seat, and Standing Room. The cabin was nice enough and the only problems being the heater positioned directly under my head and the woman in the bunk above me crawling around the room like a monkey most of the night. The ride which was to take 7 hours took 9 and had forced me to take a crap while the train was stopped. I'm not sure there were many people outside so I don't think it was too bad for anyone, anyways, they urge you not to do that sort of thing.

I arrived in GuangZhouDong (the east station of GuangZhou) confused and needing to crap... again. The necessities taken care of I decided that I needed to figure out my next step. More confused by the ticket lines in the station I decided to try the main train station, and even more confused by that line I decided to try the neighbouring bus station. This description, it should be noted, is incredibly brief the actual event spanned a few hours and much waffling in the subway system as well as a walk through the Sun Yet San University(quite nice). It should also be mentioned that I got lost in the Textile district... Still I eventually found the bus station and got myself a ticket to KuMing, the capitol of Yunnan province, and decided from there I'd go to LiJiang. I got the Ticket for wednesday and in doing so made it necessary for me to find a place to sleep for two nights. This again took me far too long. I would flash the characters for hotel to people I met on the street and they'd point me in none specific directions and I'd follow them flashing the characters to new passerbys. Eventually I found a place... it was more expensive than I needed but it served the trick. That night I had over priced pizza from pizza hut.

Damn it! I can't figure out how to get this up. it's all in bloody Chinese!

2006-12-03T05:41:00.000-08:00

Please, for the love of God, don't spit in my class room!

A strange and offensive habit here, spitting is. Everywhere, people of all ages, gender, economic status, are spitting... Everywhere! Generally I'm a pretty "when in Rome" kinda guy but the spitting is really rather disgusting. There's nothing like going to a restaurant, sitting down only to find yourself standing in a pool someone else's saliva and mucous... shudder... Strickly speaking I believe it is mostly my foriegn sensibilities that find such things offensive. HOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRCKCKCKCK HAARK HAAARK HAAARK GGRRRGIGGGGLLEE HAAAAARK AAAAAARK FFFFFFWAP! You could be walking down the street and see the most beautiful girl and a second later she sounds like she's waxing the hair off of the back of a pig! Personally I don't get it. The floors and ground are generally filthy here to the point that if you go somewhere people won't put their bags on the ground, and if you do they'll offer you a stool to rest it.

I should mention that although the lower altitude areas of daily life might be filthy that this should not in any way reflect on the general cleanliness of the average person. They do things like simply rest their bags on stools and generally don't stand on chairs or places that people will sit, or won't sit were people stand. Also there's a strange ritual cleaning of the tea cups, bowls, and chopsticks with tea or hot water before eating. I don't know if this is a local tradition I've noticed that the few people I know from Guangdong province seem to do it religiously where as the locals are more individual about it.

All this aside and local ways be damned, I will not have people spitting in my class room! It just drives me crazy, and makes me cringe to hear the gutteral prelude to their potentially ballistic purge... ugh.

2006-11-11T22:31:00.000-08:00

Bike Shopping.

Buying a bicycle here is an interesting experience. My associate, Ed, had already gone out in search twice and twice returned empty handed(mei you), but last night he had some resolve and decided it was the night for bikes! I decided at the last minute to go along for the ride... so to speak... after not hearing from another foriegn teacher who had, despite not being single, decided to take part in the Bachelor festivities(there really aren't any festivities, they just drink I think). Also I have been expressing the desire for a bicycle to with which to cruse the city and maybe ever get to school and back, although for that to happen with require a fairly large shift in my morning schedual.

Fundamentally all bicycles can be devided into two categories; New and second hand. It is the latter that we were interested. After a number of enquiries my colleague had discerned that the place to buy a bike was at the GanZhou park. So with the accompaniment of our previously mentioned mutual friend we set off towards the Park. No sooner then we get there that we are mobbed by more then a few shaddy characters. We talk to one and follow her into a back alley where she then shows us two bikes both looking nice and both of which my comrad rejects. We return to the park to follow another woman out into an even darker alley even further from the park to look at an even crappier bike. Rejected.

Again we return to the park, but this time they seem to want to bring the bikes to us which is fine enough. More and more I'd been losing sympathy for these shady dealers. By now though we've attracted a crowd, mostly remarking on our hight, my neighbour's command of Chinese, and my appearance and how I look chinese... I think it has something to do with my smallish nose and the fact that I've been too lazy here to wear contacts and have gone with glasses. One by one they go off and bring back a bike and one by one they're rejected, mostly on the grounds of price. Eventually, slightly dejected at the lack of success. On our way home our friend, Tio, decided to try one last place... notably less shady then they folks at the park. I got a nice little number with a basket on the front and Ed got a nice sportier model but with no basket.

One thing that should be mentioned is and the reason why I, besides my frugal nature, decided on a rather inexpensive bicycle, is that there seems to be an uncanny theft rate when it comes to bicycles here. In fact, it's probably the case that the bicycles we purchased themselves here stolen not long ago. In that same spirit I decided on a cheap lock as well... I'm reasonably certain it can be opened with a pen... but never mind. I now have a bike!

2006-11-11T22:15:00.000-08:00

You had it all marked in your calendars. You were all counting the days! And yes, it finally arrived! Happy(belated) Bachelor's day!

For those of you not in the know you'll be happy to discover that the 11th of November, at least in GanZhou, is known as Bachelor's day and has been described to me as the opposite of Valentine's day. At last I have an excuse to get drunk and cry myself to sleep, alone in my huge bed. Well not exactly, strangely enough I didn't even drink yesterday.

My day yesterday consisted of going out for a walk with a friend who I'm fairly certain is now trying to push me into a relationship or at least enjoys pretending that I'm her boyfriend in public. She was grabbing my arm and I'm fairly certain, intentionally wore improper shoes for the occassion then proceeded to walk off the beaten path where she'd be forced(and I'd be obliged to let her) grab hold of me for stability... Anyways, we spent the the late afternoon wandering around one of the city parks then following the wall along the rive to the old bridge. It was nice and would have been rather romantic if I'd anything more then little interest in this girl, but what you gonna do eh?

Upon my return to my nearly novelty size apartment I found my neighbour having dinner with a mutual friend(the dinner having been cooked by her) they invited me over and I accepted. Following dinner we then went bike shopping. I am now Mobile! I have wheels. The city is my oyster and there's room on the back for another(preferably light) person(as is the style). We then spent the rest of the evening riding around the town looking for Yellow wine then returning unsuccessfully to the flats where we drowned our sorrows in youzi(a over sized dry orange with too much rine and little fruit(at least proportionally)) and a game of Chinese Checkers(I think they just call it checkers here... or not)

That was my Bachelor's day, it should be noted that I recently bought a trumpet and at 11 i did play the last post, which was shortly followed by amazing grace on the bag pipes from a flat a few floors down.

Happy Bachelor's Day!

2006-10-31T23:57:00.000-08:00

Flash Back! Three weeks!

The following morning I awoke to watch the sunrise, and traffic gather in the streets of ShangHai. SLowly the din rose in a crescendo of orgasmic traffic horns, each sounding its own immediacy and warning, building on his predecesors. I pick up my tired self, my head still spinning with the high of new travel, and decide to walk to a nearby park filled with morning children and Tia Chi. I arrived at the park to find it empty, only populated by sleepers beneath the arbers and sweepers pushing brooms through the already gathering filth of the day.

There nestled in the space of the homeless I sit. A ShangHai park, amid the waving roadways dancing girls played in dreams of steel as the butterflies rest their wings on alien flowers. Scents familiar to fancy soaps trade turns with exhaust and faeces, each vying for my nose, seeking attention as all scents do. Spiralled snails hang on the walls hoping to escape the heat of the day and survive to the next, while spotted mosquitoes, ants, and other insects molest my attempts at calm morning reflection.

I move to back to the Hotel where I meet my companions and gathered for a proper Chinese breakfast, of strange dishes and soups all unknown to me. Buns, tea, JiaoZi(Dumplings), all make appearances. We eat our fill and make out way towards the airport, a local airport which would take us to GanZhou.

We boar and exit the plane, a small plane seating no more then 50 people with the style of a 60's rock star. We are met at the airport by a van and carried to our apartments near the center of the city on the main campus of the JiangXi University of Science and Technology.

2006-10-19T17:48:00.000-07:00

It came with little warning, and it's ruthless attack left me little more then a shell of a my former self. What brought on the attack still remains a mystery. The meat on a stick, soup, dumplings, the noodles are all suspect. sitting in the restaurant I tried to inform my friend as to the situation arrising in my bowels but he, thinking I was speaking hypothetically took little notice until I impressed upon him the urgency of the situation.

The following moments are a blur, but best I can make is that one of the ladies working the restaurant led me to a back room. I closed the door behind me and instinct took over. It wasn't until the bulk of the storm had subsided that I found myself squatting over a porceline whole in the floor. It hit me then, and I frantically searched to room and to my luck found enough toilet paper to do the trick. Stepping away from my first squatting experience I noticed that this one didn't seem to flush, but located nearby was a bucket and a tap. I took the hint and flushed down the remnants of my being myself. Leaving the room to rejoin my colleague I felt hollow, but also strangely accomplished. That had been the beginning of the ShangHai runs, The GanZhou Trots, The Chinese Shuffle.

2006-10-12T00:40:00.000-07:00

ShangHaied.

yeah it finally happened I've arrived in China, and even to the town where I'll reside for the next 10 months. The flight was as expected long and tedious, the only movie I wanted to watch was the last one and only one that I couldn't stay awake through. I didn't sit in my own seat the whole time. In the seat next to me was a mother with a baby, actually an incrdibly cute and well behaved who barely pinched out a cry during take off. The mother assured me that the child was merely upset because of the early departure, I must admit I sympathised.

Upon arriving in ShangHai I made my way through immigrattion seamlessly, then slowly gathered my bags and relieved myself after 20 hours of blowing kisses at my seat cushon. There was no incident in customs, not even a second glance as I breased past the guards. Entering the arrivals section I quickly found my dissapointed greeter. Dissapointed merely because I had found her sign with my name before she could recognise me from the picture I'd sent. It seems that I looked "fatter" in the picture, well that's what you get being lazy and just doing it on the computer. I figure it must have just been the picture seeing when I had taken that picture I'd been feeding myself and not relying on the frequent feedings I found at home for those three weeks. We quickly weaved our way through the hurley burley of arrival traffic and stood in queu for a taxi which would take us to the hotel she'd booked.

I must say that it is rather a wonderful feeling to be met at the airport by a beautiful girl waiting just for you and even dressed up for the occassion. We arrived at the hotel late due to some rush hour traffic even though rush hour traffic in ShangHai seems to move more then at home. People seem to obey the recommendations of the lines less here. Hand resting on horn they drive, swerving to miss bicycles and scooters, pedestrians and the larger animals. Similarly to the airport we arrived at the hotel without incident. It was the nicest Hotel I've ever stayed in, a bell-boy took my bags up to the room but unfortunately was left wanting given my lack of Chinese change, he too seemed rather dissapointed.

Gina, my hostess, and I had agreed to meet in the lobby in twenty minutes where I'd meet the brit who'd arrived earlier that day. As expected, twenty minutes of soap, tooth-paste, and clean underwear we were reunited in the lobby with the addition of Edwin. A nice fellow from Birmingham who'd studied Chinese for his undergrad and had previously spent a year in Beijing and as such slightly more prepared, at least in the communication district, then I am. We then went to a fairly posh restaurant where we met a friend of Gina's who works in the city and enjoyed a nice meal. I then went back to the Hotel and slept. We would leave for GanZou the following day.

2006-10-05T12:15:00.000-07:00

Well it's finally happened, I have my visa, I have my ticket. I leave Sunday morning at 830. I arrive 310pm on the 9th in ShangHai at Pu Dong airport. That's the plan at least...

2006-09-28T07:46:00.000-07:00

First I should mention that I'm not quite there yet. Counter to popular belief, although technology has changed and developed getting to China seems to still be a slow process. I'm not even talking about the plane/boat itself, though mind that's still supposed to be a 20 hour flight. It's getting on to the plane that seems to be the problem. The school asked me if I could try to get there earlier then originally planned(the 9th of October). I resopnded by pointing out the logistical problems but also noting that it would be possible assuming the paperwork went as planned. Anyways, things haven't gone as smoothly as they could have and no I've found out that I can't get there until the 9th anyways. I'm still in Canada, slightly bitter, and clueless as to what I'll do for the extra week, but I'll try to get a good book and make the most of it. Maybe go to the cottage for a couple days. Or maybe I'll disclose my adventures between leaving London Germany back to London then Canada... or maybe not.